I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir
This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel
I’m going to get a bigger glass and add more mixer and have way too much to drink: The Thrilling Conclusion
Today I Won’t Drink At All: a prequel
its kinda scary how your whole life depends on how well you do as a teenager
Friends Reunion Skit with Jimmy Kimmel.
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Dog: I AM SORRY BABY HUMAN! DO NOT CRY ANYMORE! i SHALL BRING YOU MORE TOYS
it infuriates me when people tell me “lifes too short to not forgive people!” like NO lifes too short for me to continually allow abusive and manipulative behavior in my life and live in a constant state of anxiety bc I want to be “nice” or whatever
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"